Do you believe fully, without any doubts, that you are completely competent in your specialty and that you deserve to be well compensated for it? If you’re a woman, I bet the answer is either “no,” or “yes, but…” (After which comes a long string of qualifiers.) That lack of confidence is holding you back.

I recently read “The Confidence Gap” in The Atlantic about this (link below).

The authors (2 women) reveal that even the powerful, highly successful women they’ve interviewed suffer from lack of confidence and self doubt. Highly successful women also tend to see themselves as imposters or frauds, and expect that someone is going to find out one day. Here are some of the ways women demonstrate this “confidence gap:”

• When women are successful in any area, we tend to say we “are just lucky” and that we “wouldn’t have made it without the help of (fill in the blank),” etc.
• We don’t believe our success is due to our own skills, intelligence, competence and abilities.
• We feel like we always need to learn more, or get another degree or certification before we can ask for higher fees, or for that promotion.
• We tend to assume the blame if something goes wrong.
• We strive to be perfect at everything, which actually can mean wasting a lot of time and getting less done.
• We don’t go for a promotion unless we feel we are already 100% qualified for it (or over qualified), whereas men are willing to jump in and learn on the job if they feel they have 50% of the qualifications.
• We are 4x less likely to enter into salary negotiations than men, and even when they do, we ask for 30% less.
• We feel we deserve to earn 20% less than men believe they deserve to earn for the same work.
• We are less likely to seek out and pursue future opportunities than men.
• Men are likely to overestimate their abilities, and we almost always underestimate ours, while our actual performance is the same quality.
• We tend to feel we are not totally qualified for a prestigious job, and don’t even try.
• We don’t speak up in meetings, or wait for someone else to speak first.
• We over-deliver and under-charge.

(BTW – Men sometimes doubt themselves, too, but they don’t let those doubts stop them as much as women do.) Part of the reason for women’s lack of assertiveness, however, is cultural. Confidence is crucial to success, yet women who project a lot of confidence can experience a backlash.

Men are rewarded for assertive behavior, while women can be seen as “pushy,” “bitchy,” “controlling,” etc. And watch out gals – women are just as likely as men to make these judgments of other women.

Lots of recent articles and books about this show that awareness is beginning to shift, which means change is in the air. Yahoo! So, what can women entrepreneurs do?

Number one – own, appreciate and value ALL of your skills, expertise and talents (whether you have degrees, credentials, certifications or not). Give yourself credit for your successes. Whenever you catch yourself thinking or saying, “I need to know more before I can…” or “I’m not good enough,” or “I was only able to get this far because of someone else…” recognize those thoughts as old stories that don’t apply anymore.

Voice your value. Let this knowledge of your value, skills, abilities and expertise show up in your voice. Speak up and speak out for yourself. (And no, you don’t have to copy a masculine style of speaking to do that. Honor your feminine qualities of connection and collaboration as you speak up.) Practice speaking with power and confidence. (You’re changing habits of a lifetime, so it will take practice.) The more you practice, the easier it gets.

Watch out for that cultural reaction to strong women in yourself. Support and empower other women in voicing their value. (Men, be aware of your own cultural bias, too, and start supporting and empowering the women around you to speak up and take the lead.)

Next, take a stand that you ARE fully capable. Use a “power pose” to boost your confidence. (Watch my video about the “Wonder Woman” pose here: Power Confidence Pose)

Start taking action based on your confidence in your true value. This will create a “virtuous circle.” “Confidence is a belief in one’s ability to succeed, a belief that stimulates action.

In turn, taking action bolsters one’s belief in one’s ability to succeed. So confidence accumulates—through hard work, through success, and even through failure.” – The Confidence Gap (Read it here)

It turns out when women stop hesitating because they’re not sure and start acting, we perform just as well as men do. As you create your own “virtuous circle,” you’ll change your brain, your life, and increase your success.

Not only that, but statistics show that companies with more women in leadership perform better, and countries that value “women’s work” have stronger economies. We CAN change the world. Get out there, Wonder Women! ==================================================================

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