Ariana Newcomer

Healing the soul's voice

Blab With Terry Wildemann & Ariana Lise Newcomer

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I’m excited to share my recent Blab interview with Terry Wildemann creator of the Attractionpreneur™ Business Show.

Your usual voice is NOT your whole, authentic voice – the voice of your soul. It’s only part of it.

If your soul has a big purpose, you need your whole voice to express it. Your habits of speech are unconsciously preventing you from truly communicating.

On the blab I demonstrate how your voice is sabotaging you, and I reveal secrets I’ve learned in working with hundreds of women (and a few men) to healing your soul’s voice. Bring your voice into full congruency with all that you are, so you can come into an authentic, congruent, confident and powerful expression of the YOU are meant to be.
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What Do YOU Want To Say?

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Our need to “self express” is deeply human. It is a key to our creativity and having a life that has meaning.

It’s also key to both our spiritual growth and our worldly contribution.

Your voice is your primary instrument of self expression, yet you normally take it for granted.

So much of our culture conspires against your full self expression – cultural expectations of women (and men), the things you were told as a child, traumatic events that caused you to shut down, your own perceptions of how you’re “supposed” to sound.

I call these “voice stories” – unconscious decisions you’ve made about how to sound (or NOT to sound), and about how you can speak, that cause you to hold your voice back.

I’m on a mission to bring back your full self expression, and I’ve discovered that opening up your voice is an overlooked, underutilized way to do it.

When Connie came to work with me, she had a very small, quiet voice. We met in Zumba class, and she would always stand in the back. She never smiled. If she came in late, we never noticed her coming in.

She felt that people didn’t listen to her, and told me that people would often talk over her.

Now, she was not a tiny woman, nor was she any kind of dummy. She was a CFO in between jobs.Continue Reading

Beat Stress and Overwhelm By Taking In The Good

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by Ariana Newcomer

The news is almost uniformly bad. We feel like there’s never enough time. Traffic is terrible. We worry about money and our health. We worry about work and family. We worry about the planet.

We feel stressed. It feels like the world is stressful.

In truth, the world is just happening. The stress we feel comes from the inside. In an earlier article, Perspective Is Everything, I wrote about how we can shift the stories we tell ourselves (our perspective) about what happened so we can get out of the negative loop and move forward.

Perspective is key. But there is also a neurological reason for our tendency to focus on the negative.

Our brains are wired to pay more attention to things that are threatening, or MIGHT be threatening. It’s a survival mechanism that was very important to early humans.

These days, this brain function can be less than helpful, since many of the things we perceive as threats are not really life-threatening at all. Yet our brains and bodies react as though they were.

The good news is, we can change our brains! Neuroscience has realized that our brains are capable of learning and growing all throughout life. We can create new habits and pathways in our brains with the right input, delivered consistently over time.Continue Reading

Zip It

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zipitbannerby Ariana Newcomer

I’m an advocate for speaking up, speaking out, and being authentic.

That doesn’t mean I think you should spill whatever you’re thinking all the time, or that you should dump your feelings all over others indiscriminately.

To succeed in being truly heard and understood when you speak out, there are definitely times to zip your lip. Button it. Hit pause. Step away from the keyboard. Just don’t say anything.

I’m not talking about suppressing yourself, swallowing insults, silencing yourself forever. Nor am I talking about ignoring things. I’m talking about taking some time to pause, breathe, think.

It’s a temporary ZIP IT so you can succeed in truly communicating.

Instead of responding immediately to a flaming email, urgent phone call, or upsetting remark with your own flaming arrow, WAIT. Those flaming responses can end up costing a lot of time, and creating confusion and resentment. They don’t create true communication (they actually put barriers in the way of true communication). After them, you have to repair relationships, apologize. You often have to back-track, and clarify what you really meant to say.

Also, when we give those flaming or sarcastic responses, we’re automatically creating the same kind of response in the other person that they just created in us – irritation, frustration, anger and resistance – which equals NO COMMUNICATION.

No matter what awful thing somebody says, we have the opportunity to choose how we’re going to respond to it. That opportunity comes during the ZIP – the pause to breathe and think.Continue Reading

How To Stop Playing Small & Dial UP Your Vision Life

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stopplayingsmallbanner2You are here to create the life you are meant to enjoy. More than achieving your goals and having every experience you have ever dreamed of, you are invited to consciously open to the call of your essence. To explore the tapestry of your feminine power, climb deep within your heart and breathe life into your truest gifts. To cultivate these experiences as a woman, ripening your authentic leadership as you awaken yourself…

Feminine potency is a gale force wind.  It is a true and unfailing force of nature, unstoppable and powerful, just as you are.

Sometimes, however, we get bogged down in the vastness of our do-it-all-alone tendencies, overwhelm, or blind spots.

The KEY is to become more at choice about how we wield our power and BIGness … with Clarity witnessed in Supportive Community. By exploring the ancient feminine wisdom that already runs through our veins, we reconnect with the source of great wisdom, strength, power, beauty and pleasure!Continue Reading

Sorry! Do Women Need To Stop Saying It?

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by Ariana Newcomer

We say it all the time.

A lot of the times we say “sorry,” it’s just a reflex, and not really needed. Sometimes it’s actually appropriate.

Do you know the difference?

I have a colleague who says it all the time, even when she’s doing what she’s supposed to be doing! She says it’s a thing the English do, and perhaps they do it more than Americans, but frankly, it’s a thing many WOMEN do all the time. How many times a day do you say “sorry?”

We grew up with our mothers saying it. We learned to be NICE and to please others. Part of being nice was learning to apologize all the time – for anything that made others uncomfortable, or might possibly make someone uncomfortable. We learned to take care of others first, and to apologize for taking care of ourselves.

We also tend to “talk down” or deprecate ourselves, rather than acknowledge our successes, to make others feel more comfortable. When someone compliments our dress, we say “Oh, this old thing?” or “Oh, yours is so much nicer.” When someone congratulates us, we say “I couldn’t have done it without help.”

Some self-deprecation, especially done with humor, DOES help make others feel comfortable, and can help us connect. But we can overdo it to the point where it becomes self-sabotaging.Continue Reading