Do you struggle sometimes to say that little word, “no?”

Yep. Me, too.

I led exercises in how to say NO at the FEM Talks event, “How To Set Nourishing Boundaries and Say No With An Open Heart”.

I asked the women when it was hard for them to say no. Some of the things they said were:

* when I get asked to go to yet another networking event. I’m afraid I’ll miss meeting the most important person!
* saying no to my children or a family member
* saying no to a partner, date, or spouse

It’s often hard for women to say NO, especially to our children and families, and because we’re worried about saying it, when we do say it, it comes out all wrong, and we end up in conflicts.

Your TONE OF VOICE is crucial, here. When you feel bad about saying no, your tone of voice gets an edge in it that usually triggers a negative reaction in the receiver of the NO, which – guess what? – causes exactly the reaction we were worried about.

When you WAIT to say no until you’re just really fed up, and feeling resentful and taken advantage of, your tone of voice has that edge again, so when the NO finally comes out, it again triggers a negative reaction.

When you feel guilty saying NO to your children or family members, that guilt shows up in your voice. Your kids and family members can hear the guilt, and they often will use it to play you and try to get you to back down.

Saying NO doesn’t have to trigger negative reactions, guilt manipulations, bad feelings and arguments.

Remind yourself that:

* You need to take care of yourself in order to take care of your family. Saying NO is part of appropriate self care.
* You have a right to say NO to things that do not serve you and are not in your best interest.
* Your kids actually need you to say no when it’s appropriate and necessary.
* Saying no to another networking event is not the end of the world. You won’t serve anyone by showing up to an event exhausted and resentful.

A “no” that comes from the heart with certainty is MUCH easier to hear than the defensive, resentful, angry NO.

Give yourself permission to say no BEFORE you get resentful and fed up. Then you can say it quietly and calmly from the heart.

We practiced saying NO from the heart, and people experienced how different it feels.

We also practiced saying NO from a fully grounded, powerful place, in a voice that comes from your belly. This is what you need if you’re approached on the street by a creepy, dangerous looking person.

Saying NO is a necessary part of being a whole, fully functioning person. It can take practice to find the tones of voice that really work, so get to it!

I’d be happy to help you learn to own and express your NO from the heart with certainty, and find that powerful, full-bodied NO for the times when you need it. Let’s talk. {CLICK here to apply for a one-on-one Voice Your Value Breakthrough Session}

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Client Rave:  “Ariana, thank you for being my guiding light, my beam of hope for speaking with power, authority and confidence, and for helping me unblock my greatness. You are SO multi-talented, and I’d recommend you to everyone!” – Josephine Hanan

If you ‘d like to talk with me about the possibilities of working together, book a Voice Your Value Breakthrough Session! My treat. We’ll explore how to empower your authentic voice, reclaim parts of yourself that have been shushed and silenced, craft your compelling story, and brainstorm opportunities for business and personal growth, so you can step into YOUR greatness.