How many times have you been told to “hold your tongue” or “bite your tongue”?

How many times have you “swallowed your tongue” or “held your tongue” when there was something you really wanted to say, but couldn’t (or didn’t think you should)?

These are common phrases we use to stop ourselves or someone else from talking, or from saying something in particular. They’re ways we hold our voices back.

You need to know 2 things:

1. Holding, biting or swallowing your tongue are not just metaphors for not speaking. They actually cause physical tension in your tongue, which can really mess with your voice.

2. Holding your voice back can make you sick.
Both actually happened to me. Some of you know my story. I had a voice injury that ended my professional opera career. Part of the injury was caused by acid reflux. Another part was caused by WAY too much tension in my tongue, which caused problems in my larynx.

Both were a result of the toxic marriage I was in. Although we argued and fought a lot, I still held my tongue a lot of the time, swallowed things I really needed to say, and didn’t manage to say the things I did say in a way that they would be heard and understood, which caused real anguish.

It took getting out of the marriage and a lot of healing work to get rid of the acid reflux and the terrible tension in my tongue, so I could sing again. Along the way, I learned SO much about how to speak effectively, too.

My recommendation? Don’t do ANY of those things to your poor tongue. Most of us use more tension in our tongues than we need in order to speak or sing, and adding to it causes trouble. When you need to hold back, which is necessary sometimes, breathe deeply, feel the emotions and let them run through you, and RELAX your tongue.

Get out what needs to be said in some way. Say it out loud when you’re alone, with LOTS of expression. Write it down, and then say it out loud. Decide if it needs to be said to a person or not. If it does, take time to calm down, decide exactly what you need to say, breathe into your belly, and deliver it in a quiet, calm voice.

I often work with clients on releasing excess tension in their tongues, which helps to free up their voices for both speaking and singing. I also help them with tone of voice and confidence, so they can communicate those difficult things and actually be HEARD.

Want some help with that? Let’s talk.

I’d be happy to help you discover how to express yourself and get the support to say what needs to said from the heart with compassion and certainty. Let’s talk! {CLICK here to apply for a one-on-one Voice Your Value Breakthrough Session}

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Client Rave:  “Ariana, thank you for being my guiding light, my beam of hope for speaking with power, authority and confidence, and for helping me unblock my greatness. You are SO multi-talented, and I’d recommend you to everyone!” – Josephine Hanan

If you ‘d like to talk with me about the possibilities of working together, book a Voice Your Value Breakthrough Session! My treat. We’ll explore how to empower your authentic voice, reclaim parts of yourself that have been shushed and silenced, craft your compelling story, and brainstorm opportunities for business and personal growth, so you can step into YOUR greatness.