Ariana Newcomer

Healing the soul's voice

Don’t Yell At Me!

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I remember last Thanksgiving at our family gathering. I got passionate about something, and a male family member kept interrupting me. I told him very firmly to stop, and he said, “Don’t yell at me.”

Now, if you’d ever heard me yell (remember, I used to be an opera singer), you’d know I wasn’t even close to yelling. I told him so, and he left the table.

He wanted to control the conversation, and when I wouldn’t let him, he accused me of yelling, and that was supposed to make me shut up. When that didn’t work, he took his football and left.

Most of you women have heard this MANY, MANY times in your lives when you weren’t even close to yelling. Some of you men may have been the ones saying, “Don’t yell at me,” when the woman wasn’t even close to yelling.Continue Reading

Lose the maybes and mights…

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While working with a client today on her Clear Story (an essential part of your talk about what you do), she bumped up against an issue many women have. Her Clear Story draft was wimpy and unclear, because she used a lot of “maybes” and “mights” in it.

The Clear Story is a format I teach my clients that is designed to take their listener from a place they are stuck, to the possibility that they can have what they want by working with you, by changing a belief they hold that’s in the way.

When I got my Clear Story, it profoundly improved my marketing, and my ability to talk with people about what I do – and it does that for my clients, too.

MY GIFT – You can get the Clear Story Format here

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You’re not as good as you think

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Yes, I acknowledge it. This is the opposite of what I usually tell you.

Most of the time, I’m all about getting women (especially) to understand that you are better than you think you are, so you can stop hiding out and feeling like a fraud. So you can own your value and the value of everything you have to offer, and we can hear that in your voice.

But there’s a time when you’re NOT as good as you think you are.

It’s when you’ve finally gotten yourself to get out there and speak. You’ve got some experience. You feel like you’ve got your story down. You’ve given your talk or presentation many times, and you’re getting some good feedback.

You think you sound pretty good, and you think you don’t need a speaking coach anymore.

Or, WHEW, you’re glad you never spent the money on that speaker coach you talked to. I knew I could do it myself, you say.

Ooops.

You’ve forgotten a crucial thing about your brain. Or, maybe, you never knew this – your brain is messing with you.

You don’t hear yourself accurately. Or more correctly, you don’t LISTEN to yourself accurately.

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No, no, no!!

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Do you struggle sometimes to say that little word, “no?”

Yep. Me, too.

I led exercises in how to say NO at the FEM Talks event, “How To Set Nourishing Boundaries and Say No With An Open Heart”.

I asked the women when it was hard for them to say no. Some of the things they said were:Continue Reading

Becoming Fearless (Or Not)

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I was in a coaching program for a while with “Fearless” in the title. I learned a lot, but I didn’t become fearless.

Lots of people out there want to teach you how to become Fearless!! – to banish fear, to get rid of it, to stop it – because fear is BAD. Fear is negative, and we can’t have any negativity in our lives if we want to succeed. Or so the story goes.

The truth is, it’s not actually a good thing to get rid of fear.

There are 3 pieces of this.

One: Fear is actually a very valuable thing that tells us something is wrong, or could go badly wrong. Sometimes it is necessary to survival. That fear you feel when you’re thinking about whether to get into an elevator with a shifty-eyed, bad-energy-pouring-off-him guy is a good thing. It says, “Danger! Don’t go in there!”

Two: Making the automatic judgment that fear is negative usually misses the point.Continue Reading

Blab With Terry Wildemann & Ariana Lise Newcomer

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I’m excited to share my recent Blab interview with Terry Wildemann creator of the Attractionpreneur™ Business Show.

Your usual voice is NOT your whole, authentic voice – the voice of your soul. It’s only part of it.

If your soul has a big purpose, you need your whole voice to express it. Your habits of speech are unconsciously preventing you from truly communicating.

On the blab I demonstrate how your voice is sabotaging you, and I reveal secrets I’ve learned in working with hundreds of women (and a few men) to healing your soul’s voice. Bring your voice into full congruency with all that you are, so you can come into an authentic, congruent, confident and powerful expression of the YOU are meant to be.
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