Ariana Newcomer

Healing the soul's voice

What Do YOU Want To Say?

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Our need to “self express” is deeply human. It is a key to our creativity and having a life that has meaning.

It’s also key to both our spiritual growth and our worldly contribution.

Your voice is your primary instrument of self expression, yet you normally take it for granted.

So much of our culture conspires against your full self expression – cultural expectations of women (and men), the things you were told as a child, traumatic events that caused you to shut down, your own perceptions of how you’re “supposed” to sound.

I call these “voice stories” – unconscious decisions you’ve made about how to sound (or NOT to sound), and about how you can speak, that cause you to hold your voice back.

I’m on a mission to bring back your full self expression, and I’ve discovered that opening up your voice is an overlooked, underutilized way to do it.

When Connie came to work with me, she had a very small, quiet voice. We met in Zumba class, and she would always stand in the back. She never smiled. If she came in late, we never noticed her coming in.

She felt that people didn’t listen to her, and told me that people would often talk over her.

Now, she was not a tiny woman, nor was she any kind of dummy. She was a CFO in between jobs.Continue Reading

Tonality And Making Your Offer

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I find that many coaches, speakers and entrepreneurs, when they deliver presentations from the stage, on webinars, or during 1:1 sales conversations, totally shift the tone of their voice when it comes to asking for the sale!

Here’s an excerpt from a free video training I created last summer in the lead up to my first Voice Your Value™: How To Charge What You’re Worth and Get It! group program.

In this free video, I share a highly effective technique at about the 2:21 mark that helps you dramatically shift how you’re using your voice in sales conversations and presentations.
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Zip It

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zipitbannerby Ariana Newcomer

I’m an advocate for speaking up, speaking out, and being authentic.

That doesn’t mean I think you should spill whatever you’re thinking all the time, or that you should dump your feelings all over others indiscriminately.

To succeed in being truly heard and understood when you speak out, there are definitely times to zip your lip. Button it. Hit pause. Step away from the keyboard. Just don’t say anything.

I’m not talking about suppressing yourself, swallowing insults, silencing yourself forever. Nor am I talking about ignoring things. I’m talking about taking some time to pause, breathe, think.

It’s a temporary ZIP IT so you can succeed in truly communicating.

Instead of responding immediately to a flaming email, urgent phone call, or upsetting remark with your own flaming arrow, WAIT. Those flaming responses can end up costing a lot of time, and creating confusion and resentment. They don’t create true communication (they actually put barriers in the way of true communication). After them, you have to repair relationships, apologize. You often have to back-track, and clarify what you really meant to say.

Also, when we give those flaming or sarcastic responses, we’re automatically creating the same kind of response in the other person that they just created in us – irritation, frustration, anger and resistance – which equals NO COMMUNICATION.

No matter what awful thing somebody says, we have the opportunity to choose how we’re going to respond to it. That opportunity comes during the ZIP – the pause to breathe and think.Continue Reading

The Secret To Following Your Calling

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Shhhh. It’s a secret.

Want to follow your calling? Embody your voice.

You know you want to succeed doing your heart’s work and making a difference in the world. That thing – a calling – you’ve got it. It whispers your name in the night, tugs at your soul, and tells you to do things you’re scared to do. So you resist.

But there it is again the next night, next day, next week. Still, you resist.

You know that if you don’t follow that calling, you’ll regret it. You already regret the time you’ve spent serving other people’s dreams (except your kids’ dreams – you love serving your kids’ dreams).

You take a few steps into it. It’s scary, and different, and hard. You back off.

I can’t, you say. I don’t know enough. I’m not good enough. I don’t have enough credentials and certifications. Who am I to think I can _______ ? (Fill in the blank with your calling.)

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Your Voice In The World

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We’ve just recently celebrated one of our country’s most extraordinary leaders, Martin Luther King, Jr. I’m proud to say that my Dad was on the famous march with MLK from Selma to Montgomery. He and several others went from our town in Connecticut to be part of one of the seminal events of their time.

My Dad was a minister and a charismatic, compelling speaker. My Mom worked for change by supporting my Dad, and by also being a passionate voice for change with us kids, her students, friends and her communities.

One of my parents’ gifts to me was this legacy of passionate engagement, of speaking up and speaking out for change. It’s natural to me to be a voice for change. That’s what I grew up with. When I got older, I was involved in protests against the Vietnam war.

I’m now speaking out for change in the way we run our world. I speak for true partnership between men and women, rather than domination of one over the other (traditionally male over female). I speak out for change in our economy so we can have a planet we can continue to live on.Continue Reading

I Hate My Voice On A Recording!

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“When I hear my voice on a recording, I hate it!” So many of my clients say this to me before we begin our work together. Watch today’s video lesson to find out why. (It’s not what you think.) Continue Reading