Ariana Newcomer

Healing the soul's voice

Are You Authentic?

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areyouauthenticIt’s mid-July. Wow! How did that happen? Wasn’t it just January??
Time to reflect on our goals for the year, see how far we’ve gotten (or not gotten), and refresh and re-focus ourselves to make the fullest, best use of the rest of the year!

Here’s a tip to open things up for your year. Open up to speaking in your authentic voice.

I’m all about authentic voice. I work with clients to open up their full range of self-expression, and their ability to speak in their authentic voice.

Often, when I ask a client to try a new level of expression, or a new way of speaking, they get uncomfortable, and say it doesn’t feel authentic.

This issue came up again with a client just the other day. I was coaching her to use more expression, and she said “That doesn’t feel like me.”

So, what does it really mean to be authentic? What does it mean to speak in your authentic voice? Continue Reading

Are You Suffering From A Support Deficiency?

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SupportDeficiency.001

by Ariana Newcomer

Are you longing to become the woman you know in your bones you were born to be, yet feeling stuck? Are you struggling to create the life you most yearn for?

You may be suffering from a “support deficiency,” like my big dog, Pele, trying to sleep in the cat’s bed…

Think about an area of your life you are most wanting to manifest in, and answer these questions:

  • What are the current obstacles and challenges you’re facing?
  • How many other people in your life actually know about your deep desires in this area, and are supporting you in your vision?
  • How many people are supporting you to overcome the struggles and challenges in your way?
  • What resources have you accessed to help you achieve a breakthrough?

For many women, the answer to these questions is NOT MANY.

Women can have a great deal of trouble asking for and receiving support, not to mention actually investing in themselves by paying for support and mentoring.

I certainly did! I started making real breakthroughs when I started taking support seriously enough to invest in coaches and mentors.

Continue Reading

Zip It

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zipitbannerby Ariana Newcomer

I’m an advocate for speaking up, speaking out, and being authentic.

That doesn’t mean I think you should spill whatever you’re thinking all the time, or that you should dump your feelings all over others indiscriminately.

To succeed in being truly heard and understood when you speak out, there are definitely times to zip your lip. Button it. Hit pause. Step away from the keyboard. Just don’t say anything.

I’m not talking about suppressing yourself, swallowing insults, silencing yourself forever. Nor am I talking about ignoring things. I’m talking about taking some time to pause, breathe, think.

It’s a temporary ZIP IT so you can succeed in truly communicating.

Instead of responding immediately to a flaming email, urgent phone call, or upsetting remark with your own flaming arrow, WAIT. Those flaming responses can end up costing a lot of time, and creating confusion and resentment. They don’t create true communication (they actually put barriers in the way of true communication). After them, you have to repair relationships, apologize. You often have to back-track, and clarify what you really meant to say.

Also, when we give those flaming or sarcastic responses, we’re automatically creating the same kind of response in the other person that they just created in us – irritation, frustration, anger and resistance – which equals NO COMMUNICATION.

No matter what awful thing somebody says, we have the opportunity to choose how we’re going to respond to it. That opportunity comes during the ZIP – the pause to breathe and think.Continue Reading