Zip It
by Ariana Newcomer
I’m an advocate for speaking up, speaking out, and being authentic.
That doesn’t mean I think you should spill whatever you’re thinking all the time, or that you should dump your feelings all over others indiscriminately.
To succeed in being truly heard and understood when you speak out, there are definitely times to zip your lip. Button it. Hit pause. Step away from the keyboard. Just don’t say anything.
I’m not talking about suppressing yourself, swallowing insults, silencing yourself forever. Nor am I talking about ignoring things. I’m talking about taking some time to pause, breathe, think.
It’s a temporary ZIP IT so you can succeed in truly communicating.
Instead of responding immediately to a flaming email, urgent phone call, or upsetting remark with your own flaming arrow, WAIT. Those flaming responses can end up costing a lot of time, and creating confusion and resentment. They don’t create true communication (they actually put barriers in the way of true communication). After them, you have to repair relationships, apologize. You often have to back-track, and clarify what you really meant to say.
Also, when we give those flaming or sarcastic responses, we’re automatically creating the same kind of response in the other person that they just created in us – irritation, frustration, anger and resistance – which equals NO COMMUNICATION.
No matter what awful thing somebody says, we have the opportunity to choose how we’re going to respond to it. That opportunity comes during the ZIP – the pause to breathe and think.Continue Reading
The Voice of Your Soul…
by Ariana Newcomer
You think that your voice is just the way it is and there’s nothing you can do about it. Mostly you take it for granted.
But really your voice is an expression of your entire essence. It is a window into your soul. It contains more information about you than almost anything else.
Just from how you sound, people know more about your beliefs, your confidence and your essence in 5 seconds than you could ever tell them just with words.
Since communication is central in life, your voice is your pathway to opportunity and a key secret to success in this world.
When you learn to control the elements of your voice, strip away things you have layered on top of it, and stop holding your voice back, you come into an authentic, confident and powerful expression of all that you are through your voice.
You can become influential beyond your wildest dreams, impacting people, drawing them in, using your new powerful voice – the voice of your soul – to create the life you most deeply desire.
I would love to work with you so you can step into your embodied, authentic voice, and into your calling. Book a free Voice Your Value Breakthrough Session, and let’s talk.
How To Stop Playing Small & Dial UP Your Vision Life
You are here to create the life you are meant to enjoy. More than achieving your goals and having every experience you have ever dreamed of, you are invited to consciously open to the call of your essence. To explore the tapestry of your feminine power, climb deep within your heart and breathe life into your truest gifts. To cultivate these experiences as a woman, ripening your authentic leadership as you awaken yourself…
Feminine potency is a gale force wind. It is a true and unfailing force of nature, unstoppable and powerful, just as you are.
Sometimes, however, we get bogged down in the vastness of our do-it-all-alone tendencies, overwhelm, or blind spots.
The KEY is to become more at choice about how we wield our power and BIGness … with Clarity witnessed in Supportive Community. By exploring the ancient feminine wisdom that already runs through our veins, we reconnect with the source of great wisdom, strength, power, beauty and pleasure!Continue Reading
How To Handle Sales Rejection With Grace
by Ariana Newcomer
Have you ever gone into a sales conversation with a prospective client DREADING the whole thing? I have.
The fear of rejection is a powerful one, and it is what stops most women entrepreneurs from getting more clients.
Rejection can trigger deep, core emotions, and even make us feel our survival is in question. We learned to avoid situations that could cause us to feel threatened this way – to protect our tender, inner selves.
As entrepreneurs, however, we have to grow past these self-imposed limitations. I’ve written before about “Business As A Transformational Journey.” Getting past and transforming our fear of rejection in sales conversations is crucial to our success.
We need to let go of what one of my mentors calls “spiritual stubbornness,” too. For spirit-driven entrepreneurs, fear of rejection mingles with the story that money shouldn’t even be part of what we do, which can cause almost total paralysis, along with big time resentment and the pain of not succeeding in our deep purpose.
I can’t tell you how many times I hear these stories from my clients: “I shouldn’t charge for what I do because it’s my calling,” or “my gift” or “I should just be giving this away if I’m really spiritual.”
As we shift into embracing money as part of our spiritual path, along with using the strategies I’m going to give you today, we open up wonderful possibilities for ourselves – not just in our businesses, but in all our relationships, and in our spiritual dimension as well.
Growing in this specific area helps us let go of old patterns of self doubt and feeling unworthy that we definitely don’t need to carry around anymore!
Would you like to handle sales rejection with grace?
Great! I’ve got 3 strategies for you to step into your power in sales conversations when you feel threatened by rejection.Continue Reading
Sorry! Do Women Need To Stop Saying It?
by Ariana Newcomer
We say it all the time.
A lot of the times we say “sorry,” it’s just a reflex, and not really needed. Sometimes it’s actually appropriate.
Do you know the difference?
I have a colleague who says it all the time, even when she’s doing what she’s supposed to be doing! She says it’s a thing the English do, and perhaps they do it more than Americans, but frankly, it’s a thing many WOMEN do all the time. How many times a day do you say “sorry?”
We grew up with our mothers saying it. We learned to be NICE and to please others. Part of being nice was learning to apologize all the time – for anything that made others uncomfortable, or might possibly make someone uncomfortable. We learned to take care of others first, and to apologize for taking care of ourselves.
We also tend to “talk down” or deprecate ourselves, rather than acknowledge our successes, to make others feel more comfortable. When someone compliments our dress, we say “Oh, this old thing?” or “Oh, yours is so much nicer.” When someone congratulates us, we say “I couldn’t have done it without help.”
Some self-deprecation, especially done with humor, DOES help make others feel comfortable, and can help us connect. But we can overdo it to the point where it becomes self-sabotaging.Continue Reading