by Ariana Newcomer

Are you longing to become the woman you know in your bones you were born to be, yet feeling stuck? Are you struggling to create the life you most yearn for?

You may be suffering from a “support deficiency,” like my big dog, Pele, trying to sleep in the cat’s bed…

Think about an area of your life you are most wanting to manifest in, and answer these questions:

• What are the current obstacles and challenges you’re facing?
• How many other people in your life actually know about your deep desires in this area, and are supporting you in your vision?
• How many people are supporting you to overcome the struggles and challenges in your way?
• What resources have you accessed to help you achieve a breakthrough?

For many women, the answer to these questions is NOT MANY.

Women can have a great deal of trouble asking for and receiving support, not to mention actually investing in themselves by paying for support and mentoring.

I certainly did! I started making real breakthroughs when I started taking support seriously enough to invest in coaches and mentors.

We have a story around being supported that looks like this:

• I don’t want to seem needy or inadequate.
• It’s not OK to go into debt for myself.
• I don’t want to burden others.
• I’m not important enough to spend money on.
• I feel guilty spending money on myself.

And most important:

• I’m supposed to do it all myself.

The truth is, we CAN’T do it all by ourselves. We need support from others – especially other women – to become our full, whole selves out in the world.

You already know this. You can’t become your whole, full, glorious self by yourself.

Many women have spent years struggling in isolation, trying to break free from old patterns and launch their creativity into the world. We think it’s a “personal problem” we have to figure out by ourselves.

We keep falling down, getting discouraged, picking ourselves up and trying again – still alone. We keep falling short of our own expectations.

Then what do we do? We beat ourselves up for not being able to do it.

Another way women suffer from support deficiency is by not supporting OURSELVES.

We can get on a “superwoman” track, attempting to do it all in too much of a “masculine” way, while neglecting the things that make our soul sing and our body healthy and vibrant.

I put “masculine” in quotes, because the cultural attributes we give to “feminine” and “masculine” are not truly defined by our gender. Our cultural devaluation of the “feminine” has been equally damaging to women AND men. We each have “feminine” and “masculine” elements in our characters.

We all need to rebalance our ways of doing things to incorporate more of the traditionally “feminine” activities of caring, collaboration and nurturing. This is vitally important to the rebalancing of our world.

I have learned that I’m much more successful when I give myself time to sing, dance around, do SoulCollage®, color mandalas, get out in the trees, and walk/play with my dogs. When I don’t give myself that time, I am much less productive, get resentful of all the things I have to do for my business, and end up with a business that’s NOT thriving and a life that feels out of balance and lacking any joy.

I actually get more done in less time after I’ve supported myself in these ways.

What if we could realize that the way to our full potential is by having enough support? That when we give ourselves the gift of asking for, investing in, and RECEIVING support, we can succeed?

Here’s what we can do to correct “support deficiency:”

• Support yourself by doing the nourishing things that bring you joy and keep you healthy daily. Put them in the calendar!
• Use a more feminine approach to business that allows you to be in flow. Treat your business as part of your spiritual and personal growth path.
• Step into collaboration with other women business owners and coaches. Join or create a mastermind group, get an accountability buddy, or create another regular support system.
• Invest in mentoring and coaching. Working with someone who has been where you are can help you avoid costly mistakes and move you faster toward your business, personal and financial goals. (The mentoring I’ve received – and paid plenty of money for – has been invaluable.)

My last piece of advice for avoiding support deficiency is to stop holding your voice back.

• Ask for what you need.
• Open up to your full, authentic self-expression.
• Speak up and speak out as a strong, confident woman on a mission.

I love supporting other women to speak with power and confidence. I love to see the profound changes and openings that come when they open up their voices.

We need more dynamic, engaged, loving, passionate, vital, and purposeful women who are creating more feminine businesses, speaking out, and helping us move into a more healthy, sacred, and beautiful world!

Working with your voice is an overlooked and profound pathway to becoming the powerful and purposeful YOU you know you can be.

I’d love to support you.

My thanks and acknowledgment to Claire Zammit, of Feminine Power, as the inspiration for the beginning of this article.

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Client Rave:  “Ariana, thank you for being my guiding light, my beam of hope for speaking with power, authority and confidence, and for helping me unblock my greatness. You are SO multi-talented, and I’d recommend you to everyone!” – Josephine Hanan

If you ‘d like to talk with me about the possibilities of working together, book a Voice Your Value Breakthrough Session! My treat. We’ll explore how to empower your authentic voice, reclaim parts of yourself that have been shushed and silenced, craft your compelling story, and brainstorm opportunities for business and personal growth, so you can step into YOUR greatness.