by Ariana Newcomer
Do you challenge your clients to step outside their comfort zone so they can grow?
Do you ask them to do things that you know are scary for them? Do you request that they get things done in a really short amount of time? Or straight-out tell them that a story they’re telling themselves is keeping them stuck?
Actions like these challenge your clients to step into their growing edge, move past their fear, and surprise themselves with what they can actually accomplish.
As coaches, these actions challenge US to stop being so nice, playing it safe, and worrying about what our clients think about us (common issues for women that hold us back in business).
If we’re not challenging our clients this way, we’re at risk of losing them. We’ll have a hard time charging and getting higher fees. But most importantly, we’re actually failing our clients. They hire us to help them create transformation. Transformation doesn’t happen when we’re comfortable.
So, how do you challenge a client to be more and do more than they thought they could, without feeling like a bully?
The 3 simple secrets I’m going to share with you here are the key to coaching from your feminine power with grace. When you incorporate these into your coaching, your clients will adore you for getting tough with them because they’ll get great results. They’ll also be grateful, because they get that you have their best interests at heart.
1. Use The Power Of Your Voice
Your tone of voice – HOW you say it, not just WHAT you say – makes all the difference. Your concern about being “pushy” or “too aggressive” can make the words come out with an edge on them. If you use your voice consciously, you can ask the difficult and deep questions without creating defensiveness.
My secret? I anchor myself in my knowledge of the value I provide, and my confidence in my skills and abilities. My clients hear that confidence in my voice. I “voice my value.” I love teaching my clients to do this. It’s life-changing. One of my most popular VIP days is my “Voice Your Value – Charge What You’re Worth And Get It” day.
When I speak from my heart, being curious, without judgment or disapproval, my clients feel safe to trust me with their fears, beliefs and stories. I let go of worrying about being nice. I put my focus and intention on my client, not on myself. “What do they need right now?” rather than “Are they judging me for asking this?”
Then I’m able to truly listen, to be creative, and my energy is freed up to project support and strength my clients can count on.
2. No Apologizing
We women sometimes reflexively say “sorry” all the time. We think it’s going to make someone feel more comfortable. I’ve heard coaches apologize for interrupting a client who is going on and on with a story, for asking why a client hasn’t completed an assignment, or even for GIVING an assignment, and much more.
Remember, as a coach, you don’t want your client to feel comfortable. If they’re comfortable, they’re not growing.
Apologizing takes away your power. Our clients don’t hire us to be their friend. They hire us to be a guide and a mentor – to help them get results they can’t get on their own. Never apologize for doing your job. Don’t say “I’m sorry, I have to ask you a difficult question.” Try “I’m really curious about your difficulty with the assignment. Let’s go a little deeper here.”
You can use “sorry” if you are truly apologizing for something (like being late for someone’s session), or to empathize with something tragic (I’m so sorry you lost your dog this week).
I also use it if I’m genuinely confused. For example, “I’m sorry, but I’m confused. You said you wanted ____________ yet now I’m hearing that you can’t do it. It sounds as if you’re afraid of something. Is there some fear there?”
Otherwise, lose the habit of apologizing.
3. Believe In Your Clients As Powerful, No Matter What,
especially when they can’t do so for themselves.
This is foundational. Fears are going to come up when your client is in the process of transformation – that’s a given – and the fear is usually going to try to stop them from taking action.
If you believe in them and hold them as powerful – no matter what – they can use your belief to move through the fear and get moving and growing again.
These 3 secrets are crucial to being able to challenge your clients in a way that gets them the results they want, and the results you want for them – and they’re crucial for YOU to be a highly effective coach who commands higher fees.
Highly effective coaching changes lives. Masterful coaches get the training they need to create transformational results. Learning to use the power of your authentic voice is an invaluable skill that pays ongoing dividends in your business and your life.
The results your clients get come from how bold YOU are willing to be!
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I’d love to support you.
If this article has inspired you to spend a transformational, deep-dive VIP Day with me to propel your business forward like magic I’d love to speak with you. I’ve created a super simple online application, just fill it out and after I review it I will reach out to schedule a complimentary Voice Your Value Breakthrough Session to make sure we create the perfect VIP Day that’s right for you!
Click here to apply today!
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Client Rave: “Ariana, thank you for being my guiding light, my beam of hope for speaking with power, authority and confidence, and for helping me unblock my greatness. You are SO multi-talented, and I’d recommend you to everyone!” – Josephine Hanan
Here’s another by recent VIP Day client Petalyn Swart:
If this opportunity speaks to you don’t hesitate, book a Voice Your Value Breakthrough Session and let’s talk!